Merry Christmas

It is Christmas day and I have finally taken some time to sit down and post an update to this wonderful adventure!

I will just start with a few pieces of our story that we haven't reported yet.

First, the train ride from Donetsk to Kiev on the day we picked up Ethan from the orphanage was the most difficult and the most wonderful time of our lives. Ethan was scared to death and letting everyone in a 50 ft radius know it. He cried and screamed for the first 3 hours of our 12 hour train ride. Unfortunately, he was not comforted by us, which resulted in a lot of praying on our part! We had just pulled him away from the only home he had ever known and then we put him on this big scary train with us, the two people who until that day had only seen him a few hours each day and were merely cookie delivery people.

We discovered later that part of his frustration was that he had to use the bathroom and would not go in his pull-up nor would he go in the bathroom on the train. That train bathroom was disgusting! Even I was scared of that! After several screaming trips to the bathroom, we finally had success. Joe and Natasha worked together, holding Ethan above the toilet and Natasha just kept repeating pecit (Ethan's word for pee). After he finally relieved himself, he calmed down and fell asleep. It was after he was asleep when Joe and I realized...here was our child. Our chosen child, the one we have waited so long to hold. And he was with us, on our way home. We took this time to pray and cry and hold each other and just watch our sleeping son. It was truly an awesome experience.

After we arrived in Kiev, we had two great days with our son. We gave him a bath for the first time. We heard that in the orphanage they would give the kids showers. And that they would bathe 10 kids in 20 minutes. So, Ethan's first bath time was hilarious! He loved every minute of it and so did we.

We finally made it back to Indiana on the 15th and I can't even describe the feelings we had as we saw our parents at the airport waiting for us. It was such a joyous occasion, and we felt so proud to introduce our parents to our son!

The ride home from the airport was a bit rough. Ethan had never sat in a car seat before and didn't want to start on that day either. He screamed a lot, but Mamaw and Papaw and Grandma and Grandpa were there with snacks and drinks and toys to distract him. He's doing fine in a car seat now!

I have to tell everyone about this next part. When we arrived at our home, we brought Ethan into the house and I immediately noticed the smell of my home...I really missed that! The house was clean and child-proofed (thanks to Kari). And, I noticed that my house was decorated for Christmas, complete with a tree and presents for Ethan! The families in our Sunday School class had all bought gifts for Ethan that were here under our tree waiting for Ethan's arrival! That was so cool! But there is more!

After Ethan checked out the main level of our home, we went upstairs to show him his room and his machina bed. When we left home on Nov 19th, his room was blue and that is all. When we came home on Dec 15th, his room was blue, with his car bed - complete with sheets and comforter, a car and truck border, curtain, night light, pictures, and even letters that spelled out Ethan on the wall with little cars on them. Joe's mom started telling me who all had taken part in the preparation of Ethan's room. I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't hold back the tears. It was wonderful. His room is perfect.

And, there is more! Kari had arranged for families from church to deliver meals to us for the whole week!

We can't thank everyone enough for all that has taken place to help us bring our child home. We know that many prayers have been answered. We are greatful and are humbled by the love that was shown for Ethan even before we were home.

We have now been home for 10 days and Ethan is adjusting very well! Even better than we could have imagined. He is learning new English words everyday and we are communicating well with each other. He is truly a joy! And we are truly exhausted! But it is the best exhaustion we've ever felt. Ethan had a wonderful Christmas and already loves his extended family. In fact, today, when we were leaving the house, he was asking to go to "Yemma's and Yella's" house and we had just been there a few hours ago!

Enjoy the pictures and thank you all... for everything. Merry Christmas!

Ethan Pictures and Stories

Wow, we are exhausted. We still must be on Ukraine time, at least Ethan is. He was up at 2:30 this morning and absolutely would not go back to sleep. I was looking forward to getting back home and one thing that I really missed while in Ukraine was Fox News Channel. Well, since returning 2 days ago, I have yet to watch Dish Network #205. But I have watched the Wiggles Christmas Special, Bob the Builder and a Veggie Tales DVD! Ethan is getting along very well meeting family members. We started slow, but soon realized he liked and appreciated the interaction.

We had a scare on friday night after returing home. We brought Ethan in the house, showed him around and visited with his Grandparents and then we did it--we nearly scared him to death. We brought our Chocolate Lab, Dixie, in the house. Ethan did not like it at all. He was so scared and cried so much that Steph was scared and crying. I was worried that we may have to change the arrangements with Dixie being an inside dog. Fortunately, Ethan has made up with Dixie and now they are best of friends. Ethan is petting, pulling, pushing, kicking, hugging and kissing Dixie. He even shares his food with her--and unfortunately, Dixie shared her food with Ethan as well. I caught him sneaking a piece of Science Diet. Yes I convinced him to spit it out but it wasn't as easy as I thought it might be. Perhaps a testimony for Hill's Pet Food--So good even a 2 year old will eat it.

Another good story. Justin and Kari brought Ethan's cousins Emma and Ella over. Ella simply LOVES her Aunt Stephie. Ella asked Steph, "Will you take Ethan back to 'NewKraine' when you are done with him?" Steph told her that Ethan is our little boy and will stay with us until he grows up, then he will be our big boy, but he will always be ours. Ella realized then she is going to have to share her Aunt Stephie for ever.

More later---as time allows. Wait, is there anything such as time when you have a kid? So far I haven't found any!

NEW YORK CITY!!!!

There is a lot, and I mean A LOT, of things to update you on since the last post. Sorry we haven't been able to update you. The last time we went to update the blog in Donets'k the internet wasn't working. Then, we got to go get Ethan then go to Kiev. In Kiev we didn't even look for an internet cafe, we were too busy with our boy! Right now we are in a Ramada in New York City. Ethan is sitting on my lap-- he just yelled La Lookie, which apprently means, I want to sit on your lap. Our flight to Indy from JFK was cancelled last night, so we are spending an extra night away from home, so its a total of 26 days away from home (assuming we make it back today). Well there is so much to write, I think I will let Steph do it sometime in the near future while Ethan is napping. We have to tell you about the train from Donets'k to Kiev, how many homes Ethan thinks he has, you have to know about the fact he thinks Natasha lives on the other side of every door, the plane ride from Kiev to New York and many other experiences.

There is so much to tell you, but the most important thing you need to know is that Steph and I, along with our son, are all safe in the USA and Ethan is now a citizen of the United States of America. Must check to see if our flight will leave JFK on time to make it home this afternoon.

2 more days

Only two more days of going to the orphanage and then leaving without Ethan.

Ethan is obviously getting more and more comfortable with us. He tells people who walk through that we are his Mommy and Papa. Maybe its because of the juice and cookies, but who cares--he is proud of us!

The ladies in his room have been preparing Ethan ever since we arrived that he will be leaving for America with his Mommy and Papa. They tell the other kids in his room that he is going to America to be a big rich American boy! "Rich" in this case is certainly relative! Compared to his opportunities here he will be rich. But
they way we see it, we are as wealthy as anyone can be having a son like Ethan!

To answer Marj's question, they do not want him to walk outside because he has one pair of corrective shoes. And they are overproective, especially when it comes to American's adopting the kids. They are not sure we can handle it!

Wish we had more fun stories, but going to the same room and playing with the same two toys everyday is getting quite boring! You know, I never really understood why my neices and nephews had so many toys--I always thought--my kids won't need that many toys, they can be creative and have fun with just a few toys. I know I was wrong--Grandparents--Bring on the toys! We need them!

Ethan is getting the hang of English commands. We think it might be more the tone and facial expressions than the language, but he knows when he is doing something wrong, when we want him to sit, say please, more cookies, again, walk, give it to me, it is not a toy.....and many other sayings, requests and commands. It is fun to watch him learn. We have actually gone back to videos we took the first few days and we see a huge change in him already!

We leave Donetzk on Monday, hopefully we will be able to keep you updated when we return to Kiev.

Joe & Steph

Quick Update

Well, we did it. We changed our flight to leave Ukraine on December 14th! We are so excited!

We bought a new coat for Ethan today. One that is his size! The first coat we bought will be worn by 5-yr old Nicholas who is being adopted by Stan and Lydia from Michigan! They loved the coat! We are glad it worked out that way, for us and for them.

We have just a few more days that won't be busy. We're glad about that too. This weekend we will be buying gifts, food, and supplies for Ethan's farewell party on Monday. Monday will be busy as well. We will have to pick up the official court decree, get his new birth certificate and passport, have a party, and then get on the train! To comfort you all, please know that yes, we have Benedryl.

Ethan tried out a new flash light last night. He loved it so much, we couldn't get it away from him when it was time for us to leave! But today, we were able to snatch it so we can entertain him with it again tonight. We've been taking walks with him outside most days. The doctor says we have to carry him, and we do...some. But, he wants to walk, in fact he screams to get down and walk.

Everyday when we leave, he gives us both kisses and says Pah-Kah which means see you later. We have been teaching him to say bye-bye. He now knows please, light, and bye-bye. And of course, Papa and Mommy. He will repeat certain english words like again, fish, butterfly (that's funny to hear), boat, and bee. There is a large mural in one play room at the orphanage that has pictures of those things. He has learned to say again when Joe tosses him in the air and askes Ethan, "again"?

We heard that it is cold at home. That's too bad! The weather here has been almost perfect! No snow, no rain, no ice, no sun, no nothing! It has been really nice for walking. The temperature has been steadily in the 30's and the wind isn't too bad.
As nice as the weather has been, we'd like to get home to our own home with our own furnace and wood stove!

Thank you all for the prayers and for reading our thoughts!

One more day

Well, it is Tuesday and we are one day closer to getting out of here. We just want to take our son and go home. Joe has been having nightmares about the plane trip home. Not about crashing, it's about Ethan screaming the entire way from Kiev to JFK. Please pray that this does not happen. Also, next Monday night we will more than likely be taking the train from here back to Kiev. This is a long trip and we know Ethan will be scared. We'll need prayer that night too.

Today, Ethan showed us his 2-yr old tantrum in a big way. We were letting him look at pictures on our camera when he decided he wanted to take the camera and go play with it. Of course, we told him that it was not a toy and that he couldn't have it. This turned into a struggle and I think we won. He pouted and rolled around on the floor for probably 15 minutes. We just sat there and watched him. Natasha reprimanded him in Russian and so did the resident doctor who happened to be walking by. He is a VERY strong-willed child and we will have lots of opportunity to help shape him.

We tried his new winter coat on him today. He was so excited, however, it was probably 2-sizes too big. Oops! It's hard to shop for a child when you've never had them before and he won't let you measure him! So, we gave the coat to Stan and Lydia and suggested they try it on the older boy they are adopting. We will be meeting them tonight for pizza. We've spent quite a bit of time with them as they are visiting Artur (Nathan) every morning while we are with Ethan.

That's all for now.

Maybe more tomorrow.

We Understand

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. We do understand that this will be a long process of earning Ethan's trust and respect as parents. We just wanted everyone to know that we know its not all peaches and cream!

Everyone asks why the ten days. It is a replacement for the previous 30-day waiting that was frequently waived by judges who were paid a sufficient amount of US$$$$$. Now, there is no choice, it is 10 days with no opportunity to waive the time. The time period is to allow for anyone to appeal the court's decision granting us the adoption. The curious thing is that the decree from the court is not published anywhere, we wonder how anyone could even find out that there was an adoption of an orphan child let alone who specifically it is. Anyway, we cannot take Ethan until the judge actually puts that piece of paper in our hand.

We did get permission to take Ehtan on a walk outside of the orphanage today. He was scared but Natasha told him that if he held his Daddy's hand that everything would be OK, his Daddy would keep him safe. After that, he didn't want to hold Steph's hand, just mine :)

OK, gotta go its after 4:00 and Ethan is waiting on us.

Tough afternoon

Yesterday afternoon was a little hard on us. We were there for the afternoon visit, and Ethan was obviously bored with us by the time our two hours were up. In fact, we didn't even stay the whole time. It's a little hard to handle. We know that we love him and that he is our son. But, he doesn't understand what a Mama and Papa really are. Right now, he thinks that we are visitors who come to play with him twice a day and bring him snacks. Plus, he doesn't understand our language or why we keep calling him Maxim Ethan. We know in our hearts that he will eventually learn to love and trust us, but it's very hard when we are only allowed to see him for a few hours a day and be stuck in the same room every visit. Of course he would get bored with that, wouldn't you? Even the cookies and juice only work for so long!

One good thing though, one lady asked Ethan if he was an American and he said 'Dah' which means yes. That gave us a little comfort.

On the flip side, today was an excellent visit. It was the first time he went outside with us. We tried to take him outside a few days ago, but he said 'ni nada' of course. Today, he was willing to go with us. However, they told us that we had to carry him if we took him outside, we could only be out for 15 minutes, and that we have no right to leave the grounds. So, we carried him -- not an easy task. But we enjoyed it anyway. So many rules at this place, and he is our son, this is very frustrating. Today we were told not to let him play on the floor. WHAT! How can you keep a 2 yr old from playing on the floor? So we just ignored the instruction. I know the supervisors, nurses and nannies have good intentions to protect the children, but some of them seem to have more rules every day for us Americans.

We ate at a new restaurant yesterday, translated as Geese and Swan. This is the second place we've found that has an English menu. This way, Natasha doesn't have to read us every option on the menu! The food there is excellent! We had dessert for the first time today. It was very tasty!

We are planning on going to enjoy the Opera tomorrow. Well, I will enjoy it, Joe will suffer through it (perhaps enjoy a good nap). We are both looking forward to experiencing that. We may try to go to church tomorrow. Natasha knows the location of the church, but no times of service. Plus, she said it is not a 'church building' it is a rented hall, so there probably won't be church times posted on a sign like we are used to seeing.

We are counting down the days until we can take our son with us to Kiev. It can't happen soon enough. It is looking like we will meet up with at least one other American couple at the apartment in Kiev. This would be fun for us all, they will just be starting, and we will be finishing our trip.

Please pray that the next 9 days will go quickly for us and that we will have quality bonding time with our son. He is going to be in for the shock of his life when we take him away from the only home he has ever known. We know this will be traumatic, we just pray that God will give us the words and gestures to comfort him.

Also, just a heads up for you all. Here, the kids call every woman 'mama'. They call every man 'dada'. Ethan calls us Papa and Mommy. So, you can expect a greeting a bit different than you are used to, or he might give you a pouty look with sad eyes and a head over his shoulder. (We see this a lot too.)

More stories for the addicts

We have a few fun things to tell you about. These involve the orphanage and the ladies who work there. For the most part, everyone is very nice to us and they all obviously love Ethan (but they call him Maxim). There are a few exceptions though. Unfortunately, we have been reprimanded on several occasions. First, they thought we were tracking in mud from outside and making their floors dirty. So, now we take our slippers with us and change as soon as we arrive. By the way, we don't have any mud on our shoes and never have. But, if this is what they want, then we will comply. Another time we were told not to break their plants. Because we are so destructive of course. The story behind this little episode is that a ball rolled behind one of the potted plants in the play room and Ethan went to get it. I followed him and moved one branch of the plant so it wouldn't scratch him in the face. So, now we stay far away from the plants.

When we arrive to spend time with Ethan, they 'dress him up' for us. Hey is wearing a hat, a sweatshirt, tights under his pants, and a long sleeved undershirt. Needless to say, he's probably hot as soon as we get started. Well, yesterday, they asked us if we could keep him from running so much because when we bring him back they can 'wring the sweat out of his clothes'. How can you keep a 2 year old from running and playing? We have been sneaking his hat and sweatshirt off during our visits and then putting them back on him before we take him back down to his room. This has seemed to help somewhat.

Ethan has a little friend who is being adopted by another American couple. His name is Arthur (Ar-tour), his new name will be Nathan. We've had the boys playing together several times, but each time, things get louder and we always seem to get into some kind of trouble when we're all together. Today, the noise confirmed for Joe that one child is plenty for us right now! Ha ha

Ethan is quite the actor. He puts on a nice show of pouting and crying when we leave him now. This usually lasts until we shut the door, and he can't see us anymore, then he's fine. He also has this little attitude when we are playing with him in one of the big play rooms at the orphanage. When someone walks through the room and says hello to him, he frowns and sticks out his bottom lip while tilting his head to the side. Then as soon as the intruder is gone, he is fine again. We have discovered that his favorite thing to say is 'ni nada' which means don't do that. He tells us that all the time, even when he's playing. Most of the time, he says it just to see what kind of reaction he can get from us.

Oh, something nice happened yesterday. The orphanage gave us pictures of Ethan! They had their photographer there at some point and took pictures. So, we have a whole sheet of pictures for his passport (and extras to keep). Plus, they gave us two 5x7 photos of him that are absolutely adorable! We put them up in our room at the apartment and look at them all the time! They have asked that we give them a family photo of the three of us before we leave. We will take care of that next week.

Yesterday, when our afternoon visit was over, we were packing up all of our toys and started walking down the hall. Joe usually walks with Ethan and holds his hand while I follow behind with all of our belongings. Well, yesterday, we were about half way down the hall when Ethan stopped, turned around, and motioned that he wanted me to carry him. That was so nice! So, I handed Joe our stuff and happily carried Ethan downstairs.

Well, that's all for now. Hope that took care of the fix you all needed!

Love you all, more soon!