Tough afternoon
Yesterday afternoon was a little hard on us. We were there for the afternoon visit, and Ethan was obviously bored with us by the time our two hours were up. In fact, we didn't even stay the whole time. It's a little hard to handle. We know that we love him and that he is our son. But, he doesn't understand what a Mama and Papa really are. Right now, he thinks that we are visitors who come to play with him twice a day and bring him snacks. Plus, he doesn't understand our language or why we keep calling him Maxim Ethan. We know in our hearts that he will eventually learn to love and trust us, but it's very hard when we are only allowed to see him for a few hours a day and be stuck in the same room every visit. Of course he would get bored with that, wouldn't you? Even the cookies and juice only work for so long!
One good thing though, one lady asked Ethan if he was an American and he said 'Dah' which means yes. That gave us a little comfort.
On the flip side, today was an excellent visit. It was the first time he went outside with us. We tried to take him outside a few days ago, but he said 'ni nada' of course. Today, he was willing to go with us. However, they told us that we had to carry him if we took him outside, we could only be out for 15 minutes, and that we have no right to leave the grounds. So, we carried him -- not an easy task. But we enjoyed it anyway. So many rules at this place, and he is our son, this is very frustrating. Today we were told not to let him play on the floor. WHAT! How can you keep a 2 yr old from playing on the floor? So we just ignored the instruction. I know the supervisors, nurses and nannies have good intentions to protect the children, but some of them seem to have more rules every day for us Americans.
We ate at a new restaurant yesterday, translated as Geese and Swan. This is the second place we've found that has an English menu. This way, Natasha doesn't have to read us every option on the menu! The food there is excellent! We had dessert for the first time today. It was very tasty!
We are planning on going to enjoy the Opera tomorrow. Well, I will enjoy it, Joe will suffer through it (perhaps enjoy a good nap). We are both looking forward to experiencing that. We may try to go to church tomorrow. Natasha knows the location of the church, but no times of service. Plus, she said it is not a 'church building' it is a rented hall, so there probably won't be church times posted on a sign like we are used to seeing.
We are counting down the days until we can take our son with us to Kiev. It can't happen soon enough. It is looking like we will meet up with at least one other American couple at the apartment in Kiev. This would be fun for us all, they will just be starting, and we will be finishing our trip.
Please pray that the next 9 days will go quickly for us and that we will have quality bonding time with our son. He is going to be in for the shock of his life when we take him away from the only home he has ever known. We know this will be traumatic, we just pray that God will give us the words and gestures to comfort him.
Also, just a heads up for you all. Here, the kids call every woman 'mama'. They call every man 'dada'. Ethan calls us Papa and Mommy. So, you can expect a greeting a bit different than you are used to, or he might give you a pouty look with sad eyes and a head over his shoulder. (We see this a lot too.)
One good thing though, one lady asked Ethan if he was an American and he said 'Dah' which means yes. That gave us a little comfort.
On the flip side, today was an excellent visit. It was the first time he went outside with us. We tried to take him outside a few days ago, but he said 'ni nada' of course. Today, he was willing to go with us. However, they told us that we had to carry him if we took him outside, we could only be out for 15 minutes, and that we have no right to leave the grounds. So, we carried him -- not an easy task. But we enjoyed it anyway. So many rules at this place, and he is our son, this is very frustrating. Today we were told not to let him play on the floor. WHAT! How can you keep a 2 yr old from playing on the floor? So we just ignored the instruction. I know the supervisors, nurses and nannies have good intentions to protect the children, but some of them seem to have more rules every day for us Americans.
We ate at a new restaurant yesterday, translated as Geese and Swan. This is the second place we've found that has an English menu. This way, Natasha doesn't have to read us every option on the menu! The food there is excellent! We had dessert for the first time today. It was very tasty!
We are planning on going to enjoy the Opera tomorrow. Well, I will enjoy it, Joe will suffer through it (perhaps enjoy a good nap). We are both looking forward to experiencing that. We may try to go to church tomorrow. Natasha knows the location of the church, but no times of service. Plus, she said it is not a 'church building' it is a rented hall, so there probably won't be church times posted on a sign like we are used to seeing.
We are counting down the days until we can take our son with us to Kiev. It can't happen soon enough. It is looking like we will meet up with at least one other American couple at the apartment in Kiev. This would be fun for us all, they will just be starting, and we will be finishing our trip.
Please pray that the next 9 days will go quickly for us and that we will have quality bonding time with our son. He is going to be in for the shock of his life when we take him away from the only home he has ever known. We know this will be traumatic, we just pray that God will give us the words and gestures to comfort him.
Also, just a heads up for you all. Here, the kids call every woman 'mama'. They call every man 'dada'. Ethan calls us Papa and Mommy. So, you can expect a greeting a bit different than you are used to, or he might give you a pouty look with sad eyes and a head over his shoulder. (We see this a lot too.)
posted by Baldwin at 6:31 AM
8 Comments:
Hi Steph, Joe:
Tough day, yesterday, huh? I am sorry about that. Two year olds are learning independence and at the same time, trust. I have seen how God has prepared you for this time, and you have an awesome amount of sensitivity and insight. Just think how many new and wonderful things Ethan will be experiencing in his new world! Ni nada, ni nada, ni nada - probably the most familiar term he has ever heard! Soon it will be, "yes, you can do that!, yes, you can try that! yes, you can hold that!" God has richly blessed you all with each other. I pray the time will pass quickly - and that you will find comfort in hugs to sustain you between your visits! All my best, J
Joe and Steph.
Glad to hear things are going well.
Just so you know, my kids get bored with me in a half hour or so and I have trouble understanding what they really want and one of them is 13 so dont be discouraged. Having to do the same thing at the same time at the same place everyday will definatly get boring for a 2 year old.
Take courage for the Lord your God is with you. Do not be discouraged do not be afraid.
hi you two...
Im so sorry to hear it was a rough afternoon for you. It will be just a little while before Ethan and you will be in the comfort of your own home without their silly rules and then you will be able to parent him with God's guidance.Its just alot about being two and his enviroment right now. Things will be better once you both adjust to being home and he learns what a Mommy and Papa really mean besides bringing "machinas". My heart goes out to you,I can imagine how it must be frustrating to have some one else tell you what your son can and can't do. It's just a stumbling block, it will soon pass and you'll have the rest of your lives to let him be a little boy. Ill say extra prayers for you. Im glad the next time went better, and I see you have learned to just trust your own judgement and do what you feel like needs to be done. See your learning already! LOLHave a good weekend! hugs and Best Wishes, Shelley
hey you two...
Cheer up... this too shall pass and its all temporary...he will soon be yours to make the decisions that you feel are best for him. Alot of the boredom thing is probably just his age, attention span,and the fact it's not new anymore. One good point of view is he views your being there as routine,so Yeah Steph and Joe!he has accepted you.and he feels comfortable enough to let you take him outside thats another sign.Im glad the next time went better.Ill say extra prayers for you Hugs and Best Wishes Shelley
ok i have to explain.... i posted first and got an error message so i reposted and then the first one was there... thats why I did two... i am not losing my mind.....S
Hi guys, Sorry to hear about your tough day. Dad says, "this is a test, only a test." Seriously,he thought maybe the people at the orphange were testing you, with all the different "rules" and such.But this soon will pass and you will be leaving with Ethan. We are wondering why the 10 day wait after the court date?We suppose there are reasons, but we couldn't think of any really good ones.Praying the next week will go by quickly, smoothly,and that your time with Ethan will just keep getting better and better. If he only knew what a lucky little guy he is.After all he has Steve for a Grandpa!!!! hahaha Oh I guess I am to type LOL instead. just can't get with this new lingo. we love you!!! Mom and Dad H.
Still thinking about you. Someday, that little attitude is gonna take serve little man in amazing ways! Dobson speaks of shaping the will without breaking the spirit... someday you will appreciate that strong will when Ethan is able to stand firm for what he believes in. I agree with your dad, (sounds like a wise man) those ladies are testing your limits - no doubt observing you just as we observe the parents of our children. By my count, the 10 days would be up on Saturday. Why do you have to wait until Monday? No traveling on Saturday? Phil 1:3-6. Extra prayers for you! Jean
PS The Teddy Bear's Special Christmas was really cute today! Of course, the pumpkins were the stars of the show! :-)
They video taped it (professionally)this year! I ordered an extra copy.
Wow! Congratulations on your son. I am so excited for you all. You both are going to be great parents. Hang in there! God has sustained you this far He will hold you through the rest of the wait. I think this will be your best Christmas ever. Love Becca (from Beatrice if you forgot me) PS: The senior girls are going to Omaha on Saturday. I will try to bring enough money to pay the bill and not order all of the appetizers. Love again.
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